


Ringmaster's retirement

by Active_Imagination



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010), The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: He just doesn't know what they mean, It's not one-sided, Let them be married already, Relationship tags are hard, The boys belong together, steve has feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 18:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13300917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Active_Imagination/pseuds/Active_Imagination
Summary: Musicals can stir up a lot of emotions. And lead to some serious conversations, apparently.





	Ringmaster's retirement

**Author's Note:**

> So, I saw “The Greatest Showman” and the feels bled into my other latest obsession. It's an amazing movie, and so euphoric, but a week later and I'm coming down and now my brain is back to supplying angst.

**Ringmaster's Retirement**

 

It wasn't exactly unusual for Danny to walk in on Steve cleaning his side-arm. And no, that isn't a euphemism. Steve didn't get euphemisms, despite Danny trying to explain it to him countless times. Steve just expected people to say what they mean, unless they were trying to hide something, and he never expects that of his friends, so you'd be surprised what they could get away with talking about in front of Steve.

 

Talking. Somebody should be talking. Steve knew Danny was there. Steve always knew, even though his actions continued without missing a beat, and without missing a beat of his humming. Humming, and smiling. Now smirking, as Steve finally holstered his gun and looked at Danny. Great, if Danny had forgotten how to talk before, he briefly forgot how to breathe now.

 

Steve was smiling, but he looked exhausted. Grey stubble covered his chin, adding to his dishevelled, overworked appearance. Steve didn't seem to notice. He went back to softly humming, relaxed in Danny's presence, figuring that if Danny had a case he'd have spoken up by now. The last thing Danny wanted was to pile more work onto Steve.

 

“Can you hum in tune, please?” Danny snapped, which made Steve flinch at first, but then he smiled, ready for Danny's rant. Danny had to oblige him now. “Or even maybe mutter the lyrics, unless you're gonna forget them too. I have no clue what the song you're butchering is.”

 

“You could just ask.” Steve smiles, fondly, but the weariness in Steve's voice is like a punch in Danny's gut.

 

“I could.” Danny admits, talking for the sake of talking, trying to wind Steve up like a clockwork toy. “Or you could just tell me.” Steve actually blushes a little bit. The man is full of surprises.

 

“It's from a musical.” Steve juts his chin out at that, overcompensating on his masculinity. “The one with, y'know, Wolverine.” Danny blinks, and then Steve chuckles, as if reading Danny's mind, because his over-active imagination was providing a very entertaining movie.

 

“Wolverine doesn't sing. Wolverine barely talks.” Danny tried to reply with a straight face, but Steve's laughter was infection, and he ended up bursting into giggles.

 

“I know that. I meant Hugh Jackman.” Steve's goofy smile widens as he starts dancing in his chair. He's a /terrible/ singer, and maybe even a worse dancer. Still, Danny leans back and enjoys the show.

 

_I see it in your eyes_

_You believe that lie_

_That you need to hide your face_

_Afraid to step outside_

_So you lock the door_

_But don't you stay that way_

 

That's all it takes for Danny to sing along with him, quietly, but a little more in tune. He doesn't mind that Steve pulls him out of tune, as long as they're singing together, even if that means Danny is singing the part of the bearded lady.

 

_No more living in these shadows_

_You and me we know how that goes_

_'Cause once you see it, oh, you will never, never be the same_

 

_We'll be the light that's shining_

_Bottle up and keep on trying_

_You can prove there's more to you_

_You cannot be afraid._

 

Steve interrupts them before they can get to the pre-chorus of “Come Alive”, and Danny realizes he's been busted.

 

“You've seen it.” Steve's tone isn't accusatory at all, it almost sounds impressed, or proud, but still, Danny is defensive.

 

“I saw it with Grace.”

 

“What, did you crash her date with Will?” Danny's silence is all the answer Steve needs. “That is not cool, Danno.”

 

“Wow. You sound just like her.” It was remarkable, how the surly SEAL could match a tone that was exactly like his fifteen year old daughter. Right down to the nickname.

 

“If you wanted to see it, you should have just asked Melissa.” Steve's calm rationale made Danny pout even more. He was torn how to play it. Denial, or honesty.

 

“Melissa thinks musicals suck.” Danny goes with the truth, not bothering to hide the hurt on his face. What's the point of being a gay best friend if you can't drag your beard to movie musicals? Not that he's ever admit that's what they are to each other, but there's an understanding. One that doesn't extend to musicals, apparently. Thankfully, Steve is there to support him.

 

“That's crazy, man. That's like saying music sucks!” Steve's indignation turns into a sigh. “Lynn thought it sucked, but at least she watched it. She thought it was too flashy. Too fake. But that's the point, man. It's escapism. I like that the animals are CGI, because it means no animal was hurt. Makes it easier to enjoy. It's a good thing. Not a bad.” Steve looks up at Danny, the need for validation in his eyes, for someone to agree with him, a need to always be right.

 

“I'm glad you enjoyed the movie, babe.” Danny replied, carefully. The truth is, the movie hurt him, but he wasn't going to tell Steve that, he was not going to let that genie out of the bottle.

 

“What did Will think of it?” Steve was still looking for some guy to support his love for the movie, even if the end made him melancholy in a way he didn't want to dwell on. He could be happy for the theatre troupe, and leave it at that.

 

“I don't think he could see why the freaks were freaks. Didn't make any sense to him. But he liked the sappiness, because Grace did.”

 

“You mean the romance?” Steve asked, making Danny huff. “How can you not love their love, Danno? It's adorable. The very first scene when he's trying to make her laugh? It's perfect.”

 

“You really sound like Grace now, and it's scaring me. Since when do you like romance? You couldn't stand to watch the Notebook twice. We snuck upstairs to watch Chucky.”

 

“Things change.” That was the only explanation Steve gave him, and Danny was reeling. Took him long enough to realize Steve was a big softie, now to realize he's a closet romantic, it's too much. “But the romance was lost on Lynn. At least Grace and Will appreciate it. I bet he's serenading her now.”

 

Steve recites the lyrics, still not in tune, but with a longing and a yearning that hurts the heart far more than it hurts Danny's ears.

 

_There's a house we can build_

_Every room inside is filled_

_With things from far away_

_Special things, I compile_

_Each one there to make you smile_

_On a rainy day_

 

“You've got to admit, that's pretty romantic.” Steve's house is filled with painful memories, a museum to his mom and dad. Even though his mother isn't dead. Any more. It's probably not the healthiest house to live in.

 

“I don't have to admit anything.” Danny is stubborn, but it makes Steve smile. The truth is, that's what Danny wants the restaurant to be. Good food, good atmosphere, the walls decorated with pictures of Ohana, his and Steve's.

 

“You shouldn't have crashed their date, Danno. They're good kids, and if you don't give them their space they're gonna think you don't trust them.”

 

“I don't. I don't trust them.” Danny insists, but Steve continues talking over Danny.

 

“If you wanted to see the movie, you could have just asked me.” That shut Danny up. The thing is, Steve had no idea how absurd that sounded. He thinks he's being reasonable.

 

“No. I couldn't.” Danny can't bear to look Steve in the eye, the confusion there would undo him. “Friends don't do that kind of thing.”

 

“Friends don't watch movies together? That's crazy, Danny. We watch movies all the time. We watch movies in the office, the whole team.”

 

“That's different, okay.”

 

“I don't see how.”

 

Danny didn't have the words. He didn't know how to explain how the one character he identified most with in the movie, was the temptress the audience hated. That song she had. Musicals are evil, and musical reprises are the worst. They take a great song, and then twist it so it shatters your heart. It hurt the character to sing, and it hurt Danny to hear, because he got it. He knew what it was like to work so closely with someone, and for it to be _Never Enough_ , to always want more.

 

In the movie, she was the bad guy because she walked away and bankrupted the hero and almost cost him his marriage. That was the movie though, and Danny tried to walk away, only to have Steve follow him and become his partner in the restaurant. It wasn't enough, but it was better than losing Steve.

 

Although looking at Steve now, he feels like he's losing him anyway. He's working himself to death, and nobody seems to care, nobody but Danny. It's why he kicked up such a stink when he learned Steve has radiation poisoning, but Steve is so good at comforting others that they believe him. They believe the SEAL crap that Steve feeds them about the mission coming first, the operation. Steve is working so hard to make sure that Five-0 will keep running without him.

 

Without Steve is a concept Danny can't even imagine.

 

Why is Danny stuck being the girl from this movie? Not just the almost-mistress, but now he's the long-suffering wife. Her song is stuck in his head:

 

_Some people long for a life that is simple and planned/ tied with a ribbon._ That's all Danny used to want, a simple life. _Some people won't sail the sea 'cause it's safer on land. To follow what's written._ Danny knew how dangerous the sea is. It took meeting Steve to see the beauty of it too. Took him longer to get back in there, with Kono's help. _But I'd follow you to the great unknown/ Off to a world we call our own._ Danny would follow Steve anywhere, with only mild complaining.

 

It was true. They used to walk the _Tightrope_ together, but now Steve let Danny go so he could be with his family and help make the restaurant become a reality. Steve is still up on that tightrope, with nobody holding his hand, not the way Danny used to. The fall doesn't have to be inevitable, but Steve seems to be determined to stay on that rope for as long as he can. Danny can't let it be that way.

 

At least there's one song where Danny isn't the girl. Danny's changed so much of himself to try and give Steve a happy ending, it would be nothing for him to _Rewrite The Stars,_ if only Steve would let him. Danny's crashed a plane and survived, to save Steve. He'd endure a fire, if that's what it took for Steve to realize they belong together. Instead, Steve casually tells him he loves him every time they're in mortal danger, and Danny's left thinking that it's _Never Enough_ , but it's too much. He'd sacrifice hearing those words if it meant that Steve was safe.

 

“We should watch the movie together.” Steve decides, and Danny can't argue. “Might even enjoy it more. It's meant to be watched with Ohana.” And there's that flicker of sadness in Steve's eyes again. “Although not with your daughter and her boyfriend.” Danny throws a glare, but Steve holds his own.

 

“Fine, you're right. I owe her an apology. And some space. Are you happy now?” Steve does look rather happy with himself.

 

“As long as she's happy, I'm happy. And the movie makes me happy.” Steve repeats, trying to convince himself.

 

“You're talking more bull than Barnum.” Danny calls him out on it. “Which is fitting, since that's who you are. You're the ringleader to the whole circus that is Five-0. Bringing together a broken team and making them a unit. Giving Jerry a badge. And who's the new tech criminal you just gave a job, babe? You have to stop adopting people every time I leave the island. You're like a Batman Barnum.” Steve had opened his mouth to protest, but at the phrase “Batman Barnum” he burst out laughing, which Danny took as a personal achievement.

 

“I'm just doing my job, Danno.” Steve argued, when he could.

 

“You have a whole team for that, babe.” Danny's voice turned soft and serious, stepping closer as he continued whispering, because for all their years together he knew how to make Steve listen. “At the end of the day, P.T knew when to hand over the keys of the circus over to Troy Bolton, you know what I'm saying?”

 

“That's just the movie, Danny. Barnum wasn't the hero the movie made him out to be. He used people. He killed Dumbo. That's who P.T was.” Danny was sure that was Steve-speak for something important.

 

“But you're not that P.T. You're the sexy, Hugh Jackman, make everybody feel safe, everybody loves him, only has CGI animals, P.T Barnum. That's the circus you run. You can't second guess that. You've been a good ringleader, but you can't keep doing it for the rest of your life. There's more to life, Steve. Steve? Do you hear me? You gotta get out when you can.”

 

“There's nowhere else for me to go, Danno.” And Steve finally figures out why the ending made him sad. “I don't have a family to be with. I love Mary, and Joan, but they're their own family. If I tried to stay with them, Mary would kill me within two weeks.”

 

“I'd give her a month, babe. At least.” Danny tries to be flippant, but fails to even get a smile from Steve.

 

“And I love Lynn, but I don't blame her for not wanting a family with me, I could never put her through that. It's best we stay as we are. Stay where we are.” Steve convinces himself of that. A part of Danny wants to scream at Steve for being so blind, but it's not his fault.

 

“You're an idiot, Steven.” Okay, so maybe Danny is a little mad. “You and Grace should see the movie together. I think she'd like that.” Steve wants to argue, but Danny is being serious. “You already have a family, Steve. Charlie's crazy about you. And that ain't ever gonna change. I promise you that.”

 

“You don't know that. Without work, maybe he'd get sick of me, maybe I'd say the wrong thing. I'd screw it up, Danny. I know I would.”

 

“You'd be working in the restaurant. Need all the cheap labour I can get.” Danny hopes Steve takes the bait, because it's painful to hear him talk like this.

 

“Are you calling me cheap?”

 

“Well, if the flip-flops fit...” They banter comfortably for a few minutes, but the conversation eventually returns to the serious.

 

“I don't know how to quit, Danny. They're my team. I'm responsible for them.”

 

“And I'm sure they'd call when they need you, but you have saved so many lives, when is it your chance just to live?”

 

“I haven't thought about it.” Of course Steve hadn't. He's so mission-orientated. Never trained just to enjoy life.

 

“I'm not talking about quitting cold turkey. You don't even have to stop kissing Jenny Lynn, and you still get to come home to us. But the circus is a young man's game, babe. You have to start learning to take care of yourself, or Charlie and Gracie will, and that's a threat, I promise you that.” The kind of threat that earned a smile, and Steve's thinking face.

 

“Okay.” Steve decides.

 

“Okay?”

 

“I can let the others take the reins, now and again.” Steve nods, and Danny bursts into a bright smile, even though Steve isn't sure why. “I meant what I said. I want to see Charlie and Grace grow up. I do. I just never thought...” He never thought he'd have a normal family, but Danny is willing to share his, and Steve can't comprehend what that means to him, let alone express it.

 

“You're a sap, you know that, right?” Danny insults him, fondly. Steve smiles, and starts to sing.

 

“ _And we will come back home_

_And we will come back home_

_Home, again!_

_From now on!”_

 


End file.
